I have been writing for many years but now I ask why? I have recently found it difficult to write, something I struggle to understand. I have always been able to write my feelings, my thoughts, my ideas for myself. Writing my thoughts I was able to say what I really wanted without fear of negative response.
Natalie Goldberg in her book “Writing Down the Bones” writes:
“‘But why,’ people asked me, ‘does everybody want to write?’ … We all have a dream of telling our stories – of realizing what we think, feel and see before we die. Writing is a path to meet ourselves and become intimate. … What crannies of untouched perception can you explore?”
A friend of Natalie’s and a fellow writer, Julia Cameron wrote in her book “Right to Write” published in 1998:
Why should we write? We should write because it is human nature to write. Writing claims our world. It makes it directly and specifically our own. …
We should write because writing brings clarity and passion to the act of living. Writing is sensual, experiential, grounding. We should write because writing is good for the soul. We should write because writing yields us a body of work, a felt path through the world we live in.”
“A felt path through the world we live in”, exploring “crannies of untouched perception”, perhaps that is why I am struggling to write now. My path is winding, my perception broadening, my feelings deepening. I have been exploring my family history and uncovering much that is giving me pause. There is a trail of separation and dislocation that begins with the first of my Father’s ancestors who were sent to Australia as convicts from Britain. I wonder that the present generation carry some of the pain and anxiety from the past that may shape their “untouched perception” of their current reality? Is my anxiety inherited?
Science has begun to study how our DNA can be shaped by more than just physical factors. In 2017 a report of three separate studies by scientists concluded:
They came to a stunning realization that if our emotions affect our DNA and our DNA shapes the world around us, than our emotions physically change the world around us.
And not just that, we are connected to our DNA beyond space and time.
We create our reality by choosing it with our feelings.
Epigenetics is the study of the chemical tags that wrap around our DNA and determine which are used and which not. These tags respond to our environment especially food and stress. When it comes to inheritance, we are born carrying some of those same tags that our fore-fathers and mothers had. As one scientist who has studied the effects of past trauma on the children and grandchildren of holocaust victims states:
“I think everyone’s intrigued by this idea they’re part of a history that isn’t just about the genes that they have, their DNA, that it’s also about the experiences that occurred before them to their ancestors. I think this is such a powerful idea,” said Rachel Yehuda, Professor of Neuroscience and Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine, New York.
My story, the realization of what I “think, feel and see” in Natalie Goldberg’s words, is the story of my ancestors too. That story needs to be told in all honesty so that I may “claim my world” as Julia Cameron says. The path is long, there will be many twists and turns, hills and valleys but it will bring “clarity and passion to (my) act of living”, it will be “grounding”, but above all it will be “good for the soul”.
That is why I write.